Do you guys ever think about Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst and get really sad? Do you ever wonder if the downfall of Jake’s career as an indie movie heartthrob began with his breakup with Kirsten because he was totally less cool after that and got abs (not that that’s bad)? Do you ever think about the fact that you watched one of the top 10 worst movies ever made, “The Day After Tomorrow”, and that boring movie about math co-starring Goop Paltrow three times all because of your 2005 crush on Jake Gyllenhaal? Or how you felt betrayed when he “dated” Taylor Swift? Or how you can still spell Gyllenhaal without googling? K cool, me neither.
'Hey Bobbie, what'd you do last night?'
'Made a photoset of a dead celebrity relationship and avoided my feelings'